Homemade Spicy California Rolls

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It’s winter break Freshman year and you’re excited about having a full time break from school. Weeks go by and suddenly you realize doing nothing isn’t quite as awesome as expected. Bored, you send a Group Me to your friends from home that their needs to be a big final weekend while everyone is at home. One of your friends suggests taking the train into the city. Done. Literally anything is better than reading your 1000th Buzzfeed Article or watching more TV. Nine hundred channels and there still is nothing on…

Problem is none of your friends are 21. Well luckily your heard about this small Asian restaurant from a friend of a friends older sister who used to always go there back in the day. After a water bottle of vodka on the train and getting lost about 8 times, you find your dimly lit restaurant. There is absolutely no one in there and it could also be a crack den, but this all seems to be a good sign you won’t be carded.

After assuring the waitress everyone is obviously 21, the first round of sake bombs come. Then the second. Then the third. At this point you get the brilliant idea to order some sushi. Well turns out the reason the restaurant served you alcohol is because of their C health rating. Before you know it your stomach is churning and you don’t know if your body hurts from the food poisoning or the eight bottles of sake you consumed.

Next time skip the low rent Asian restaurant and make your own sushi. An awesome activity to do while pregaming, you can create any roll with some seaweed,rice, and the right attitude. It is actually relatively cheap depending on what roll you are making. With a couple ingredients you’ll know this time it’s the alcohol and not the weeks old fish that got you sick. That should be a relief to your parents when you come stumbling home…

Ingredients:
1 cup of sushi grade rice
package of imitation crab
10 sheets of seaweed
1 avocado
1 cucumber

Optional:
spicy mayo
seaweed salad
sriracha
sesame seeds

Special tools:
Bamboo roller
Sharp knife
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All of these ingredients are obtainable at an Asian supermarket. Many regular supermarkets will have these as well. Look in most seafood sections and they will have the imitation crab

Cooking:
1. Begin by cooking the rice. Follow the directions on the package but many times it is 2 cups of water per one cup of rice.

2. Cut up the avocado and cucumber into small pieces. Cut the imitation crab if necessary.

3. On the Bamboo roller, place a sheet of seaweed. After cover the seaweed with the rice that has been pressed down to cover the sheet.
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4. At the end of the seaweed, add the crab, vegetables, or whatever other ingredients you would like. Begin rolling the seaweed by hand and then use the roller to squeeze firmly to hold the roll together.
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5. Transfer the complete roll to a cutting board and carefully use a sharp knife to cut the pieces.
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6. Instagram, snapchat, and tinder the picture before devouring it and making another one. Make sure to separate your Saki Bombs with some water to keep you hydrated.
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